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September 14th 2024

Until now I've neglected to post about the recent horrors from my homeland, and not for any one specific rationale or reason, but rather some blend of shock and futility. Of course, my personal connection exacerbates and complicates my emotions towards it all, while also providing me with a somewhat unique perspective, but there isn't much I can say about the matter that hasn't already been better articulated by other leftist israelis, like gideon levy or yuval abraham. Nir sent me a copy of an Ilan Pappe book, another citation from the tribe to be circulated among a dying pacifist movement. Nevertheless I am affected and it has been almost all I can think of since. And obviously I am not the only one, as I'm sure we've all seen that many far more removed than I are equally horrified, without a doubt, by images so unreasonably grotesque, by an insane magnitude of suffering. And just like many others, the impetus for action compels me, whether through posting on social media or mass demonstration, neither of which I have avoided in the past, and yet now I am avoiding both.

My parents leave tomorrow for Tel Aviv, where they will be for eight months while my father is on sabbatical at the Weizmann institute. I'll miss them, in a different way than how I miss my extended family, my aunts and uncles and cousins, havradim street in yehud, the path from the hatuka house to the isaacs house. We are a very large family, so much so that when I go back to yehud, shopkeepers who have never met me know who I am, they tell me that I am Hadas's son, a Zabari, that they can tell from my eyes. I haven't been back in five years, and who knows now how long it'll be until I go back again.